Cancer Schmancer

My best friend has ovarian cancer, fourth stage, which has now spread to her liver and pancreas.

She found out just a week ago, after arriving from a family trip and cruise to Greece and Italy. She's 52, strong as an ox, and is a massage therapist like me. But unlike me, she's not lazy at all - she does, or did, only outcall massages, working from 1 pm to as late as 11 pm. She never advertised since we started our respective careers (I chose to have an office, while she chose only outcall) over 10 years ago, and she remains busier than I am. She worked primarily only on women, and occasionally a client's husband, but otherwise, she specialized only on women. Her appointment book was filled 3 months ahead.

Since her diagnosis a week and a half ago, she has had muscle-wasting disease and she said that overnight, she lost all muscle mass in her arms and legs and her ribs are showing, too. She's currently undergoing the second week of chemo as her physician said that removing the ovaries and the uterus is not an option at the moment (even though that would have been the first thing he'd have done if it hadn't spread that far). She's very upbeat, although she says she has down times and her husband is monitoring all her calls to make sure that she's in the best spirits before answering any phone calls. He's now her chef and chaperone and nurse.

Since finding out, I've been trying to figure out my emotions. This is someone who is close to me and who shares many interests as I do. She's 11 years older than me but as far as I'm concerned, she's always been invincible and ageless. Someone you can tell just about anything you want. A true friend.

I've been looking for patterns to make for her. Maybe a hat, but currently am working on a blanket for MIL who just got out of the hospital after returning from the Philippines (to attend her brother's funeral and help with the damages from Typhoon Fengshen) with an intestinal virus that's yet to to be determined.

I'm thinking of CO the swallowtail shawl for her using some Bernat Satin sport yarn that's in my stash. I don't know yet. I have to figure out my feelings first I guess...